How to recognize a Reincarnated Cuban

Cubans are everywhere, especially after Castro.  In Belgium you can find one selling waffles with guava marmalade, in Paris , they will sing you a “guaguanco” Cuban style but in French.  Even in Morocco !! a cousin of mine found one that was selling camel rides.  We are very ingenious and it is easy to recognize us, wherever we are.  No help is needed.  The difficult task is to recognize a re incarnated Cuban...

    Yes sir!, they exist! of course they do!!! Here in the United States there are plenty of them of both sexes and social status.   You will agree with me as soon as I reveal some of the symptoms and characteristics of a reincarnated Cuban.  This theory has taken me a long time to develop and I gladly share it with you.  I have discussed it with some “gringologists” and a spritualist friend of mine.   I even discussed it by instant message with a reincarnated Cuban that believes his name used to be Gumersindo in another life back in Guanabacoa and here he is a gringo from Arizona called Russ that likes black beans and “punto guajiro”.

            You can be sure to be in front of a reincarnated Cuban if:  

            a) the gringo can move his hips without help and without moving his shoulders at the same time.

            b) he can pronounce the RRRR’s without spitting on your face.

            c) instead of coffee he has the urge to stop by a Cuban cafeteria and have a colada while discussing politics.

            d) when a Cuban woman passes by him HE HAS TO SAY SOMETHING TO HER. even if in English. 

e) at lunch time he has a “completa” with congri and yuca instead of a McDonalds combo.

            f)  he can drink a
malta with out saying YUCK! too sweet!!

            g) he falls in love with a Cuban and easily learns enough Spanish to impress the future father in law.

            h)he loves gold and wears thick chains.

            i)he enjoys going to fun-erals and wears a guayabera to do so.

            j) in his CD collection he has one of Olga Guillot, Celia Cruz  or Willi Chirino.

            k) every time you invite him to a birthday party he arrives an hour later.

            l) he dabs Violet Water Cologne on his babies.

            m) when he says hello he does not shake your hand but hugs you and slaps your back several times.

            My study to recognize reinated Cubans is not finished, it is an ongoing project and I need your help.

            If you know of any other characteristics observed but not mentioned here, please send them to me by email or regular mail.  My goal is to make it to Z! email: CVicente@pregones.info

  Spanish Version